Dad: Sawyer, thanks for coming to the football game with me.
Sawyer: That's what friends are for Dad!
Sawyer: Mom, I'm going to marry you!
Me: Sorry honey, but Mommy is already married.
Sawyer (stomping his foot angrily): But you are the only person I could think of! (bursts into tears) I just want to marry you! This is not fair!
Sawyer: I wish we had an underwear car. You know, where you sell underwear from your car.
Dad: Son, let me give you a piece of advice. I suggest you never buy underwear from the back of a car. #fatherlyadvice #wisewords
Scene: Nora is obviously mad about something, most likely because she is beyond tired
Me: Nora, why are you mad?
Nora: I am mad at you! I don't like you!
Me: That's not very kind.
Nora: Well I do like your clothes!
Nora: Mom, are you old?
Me: It depends on your definition of old. Do you think 33 is old?
Me: Well, then I am old.
Nora: So you drink coffee!?
Not to get too graphic...but with 3 little ones (1 being a 5 year old boy) poop comes up a lot and Nora recently said:
When I eat raisins my poop is melty!