While discussing a "store" being open at his school.
Sawyer: Mom, I need some money!
Mom: For what?
Sawyer: Please Mom! Just show me the money!
Sawyer: Nora, we will always live together.
Nora: Awe, that's sweet! But what about when I get married?
Sawyer: Well, then I will live with you. And if you ever have a problem you can call me or FaceTime me. My phone password will be 9919. And if you don't have a phone you can FaceTime me on your tablet.
After being on the road for 10+hours and Mommy no longer has the energy to talk "Please stop asking questions and use your imagination to entertain yourself."
Sawyer: Mommy, I have lost my imagination!
Sawyer: Do you speak piglet?
i.e. pig latin ;)
Sawyer: Mom, when I have a daughter I'm going to name her Kristen.
Mom: Awe, that's sweet! Why would you do that?
Sawyer: Because you're my favorite girl!
Sawyer: Mom, do you know 5th grade words?
Mom: Um, yes.
Sawyer: Can you tell me all of them?
Mom: Well, I'm not sure what list your teacher uses.
Sawyer (exasperated): Mom, did you even go to 5th grade?
Mom, I have a predicament. It's kind of embarrassing but I'm going to tell you...Sometimes I see beautiful girls and I love them.
Sawyer: Dad, can you help me lick my armpits?
As she puts a pot on her head.
Nora: They call me pothead!
Mommy: Nora, I don't think that's a name you want to be associated with.
Evy's ears look like Cheetos
After passing an Under Armour store: "Mom, look it's Malone!" Daddy may have a few (read TONS) of Under Amor apparel from Malone.
Scene: Nora crying on her bed
Me: What's wrong?
Nora: Everybody thinks I'm a monster!
Me: Really? Has someone said that to you?
Nora: Well, no. But they think I am.
Me: Are you sure?
Nora: No, but I think I am. I'm not good at listening. I'm just like a monster.
Oh the drama!
YOU'RE ALWAYS ORDERING ME AROUND LIKE I'M CINDERELLA!
Nora (dejected): Mom, no one else has a name that starts with an "N."
Me: That's not true! Have you heard of Nicole?
Nora (in a teenage sassy tone): Mom, you just made up that word.
Mom: Do you want your My Little Pony?
Nora (exasperated): That's not your pony! It's mine!
After complaining about Mama kissing his oh-so-kissable cheeks.
Mom: I blew you a kiss.
Kolter: You blue me a kiss? Look I green you a kiss!
Mom: Kolter, you are 3 feet tall!
Kolter: No, mommy! I have 2 feet!
Looking at lights
Kolter: Mom, I need sunglasses.
Mom: What made you so big?
That's actually accurate ;) He LOVES applesauce
Kolter (while picking his nose): Mom, I have a boogie but I can't get it!
Mom: That's not a boogie, that's a scab.
Kolter: Mom, you're a booger genius!
Nora (trying to resolve a conflict): Kolter, you just need to let it go.
Kolter: Yeah, like Elsa!